As you might know, the little fishy symbol that you sometimes see on the back of someone’s car (hopefully not right after they have rudely cut you off in traffic) is called an ichthus (ick-thoos). It was used in the early church to help Christians discreetly identify one another. One person would draw one arch in the sand, and if the other person was a Christian, they would know to draw another arch, completing the fish symbol.
You can use a similar covert test to identify another Gen Xer. Simply walk up to them and sing, “Two all-beef patties … ”
Anyone who spent any part of their childhood in the 70s or 80s should have no trouble completing the song with, “ … special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.”
This, of course, is the jingle for the Big Mac. It aired originally from 1974-1976, but was reprised in the 80s and was burned into the brains of any human who spent any time in front of the TV, on the playground or in an elementary school cafeteria.
If you asked folks what makes a Big Mac a Big Mac, some might point to the inexplicable third bun in the middle. But my theory is that this third-wheeling bun is just a relatively inexpensive way to make a double cheeseburger a lot taller, because seriously, who has ever eaten a hamburger and mused, “I wish I had more bun.” No, what makes a Big Mac a Big Mac is the special sauce (which, by the way, is just re-imagined thousand island dressing).
The transformative power of the ‘special sauce’
There’s also a special sauce when it comes to engagement in local foster care strategy by groups of collaborating churches and organizations. It’s one of the things that sets the church apart from government or any contracted agency in terms of what it can do for children and families. It’s a big part of what makes the church the church.
So what is this special sauce?
Relationship.
Yes, people need resources and programs. But at the end of the day, those things delivered apart from human relationships fall short. Why?
Because people need a person.
Before and After: Strategies with relationships at the center
Below are three examples of common programs and strategies often implemented in communities to address needs in foster care. In each case, let’s look at the strategy and then look at what that same strategy looks like with a little special sauce:
Foster care closets
Anyone who has been a foster parent can tell you that kids sometimes show up at unexpected times. But they also show up at unexpected ages. Maybe you are used to elementary-aged kids, and all of a sudden, you get a call about a toddler who will be coming over this evening. You realize you’re going to need a different car seat, some diapers and a few more child-proofing supplies. If you’ve been a foster parent, you also know that the monthly stipend you will get will not necessarily cover all the needs you’ll have in a given month. This is where the foster closet comes in. It can meet an urgent need for foster, kinship and biological families in a community.
Foster care closets with ‘special sauce’
In Lake County, Indiana, several churches have banded together to form a local collaborative foster care network. They meet regularly to discuss how they can fill critical gaps within the foster care system where they live. When they took the time to have meaningful conversations with several key folks throughout their community, they realized that a few foster closets would meet an important need. But they put a little special sauce on it.
Instead of simply opening a foster closet in a rented or donated space in an old strip mall, they deliberately sought to open them inside church buildings in the community. So when someone comes to a foster closet, they don’t just get diapers and a car seat — they have the opportunity to interact with local church staff and volunteers and learn about forms of relational support the church offers.
In your community, that could be everything from men’s and women’s groups, a marriage mentor ministry, recovery groups, childcare or vacation bible school. All of these opportunities can provide a rich tapestry of relationships for those visiting these foster closets.
A local family resource directory
As the More Than Enough Support Team, we often walk alongside local foster care leaders as they conduct a strengths and gaps assessment in their community. These leaders identify and meet with key local stakeholders to learn more about the foster care landscape where they live. They often come back saying the same three things: (1) “Wow, we were surprised to learn just how many services exist in our community for families.” (2) “Wow, we were surprised to learn that families and case workers are not aware that most of these services exist.” (3) “We are going to solve that problem by creating a local directory of services!”
When we hear numbers 1 and 2 described by a group of collaborators, our team knows that number 3 is on its way. And we are ready with the same answer every time: “We would strongly encourage you NOT to waste the time creating a directory of services.” Admittedly, hearing that can be a little deflating at first. But hear me out.
First, creating a directory of services is a labor-intensive project that typically results in a printed book that ends up in the junk drawer of a case worker’s desk or a PDF that gets downloaded and saved into a folder somewhere on your computer that you can’t exactly find right now.
Second, these kinds of directories become out of date and irrelevant almost immediately as services change, disappear, or are added. Unless someone dedicates a chunk of time each month to keeping all the listings current, it is a resource that will quickly become obsolete.
Now, we are not saying communities should not try to address this information gap. But doing so well will require some special sauce.
A local family resource directory with ‘special sauce’
In Weld County, Colorado, a local collaboration of churches and organizations saw that families were struggling but didn’t know where to start to get help. Caseworkers were already overwhelmed and were not always aware of the services available in the community. So this group decided to launch a concierge service for families.
A family can call in and talk to a person who is first and foremost ready to listen. This family doesn’t even need to be aware of the services or programs they need. They just need to be able to tell their story. The concierge is actively listening for things they know about in the community that could be a resource for this family. It doesn’t get outdated because the folks answering the phones are constantly learning more about what their community can offer families.
As we said, people need a person, and this group of churches and organizations in Weld County is delivering.
Care sharing
Connecting resources with the people who need them is obviously not a new strategy. This kind of thing has been happening forever. In Luke 3:10, John the Baptist told the crowds, “If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry.” Over time, we have been able to scale these kinds of strategies, and modern technology makes it very efficient. If we learn about a need, we can jump onto our Amazon app and have something delivered the next day without it taking more than a minute or two out of our day.
But we all know that when meeting human need, efficiency is not necessarily our first priority. So what does it look like to keep human connection at the center of providing needed resources to those who need them? And ironically, what if technology were actually the thing that helped us do that?
Care sharing with ‘special sauce’
This one is happening in communities all over the country. CarePortal has developed technology that allows a need to be entered into a system that makes that need visible to folks in churches. When someone in a church comes across a request on the CarePortal platform, they can commit to meeting that need, which may help a struggling family stay together. But here’s where the special sauce comes in. The person meeting the need, a member of a local church response team in proximity to the family, actually delivers that item because CarePortal understands that it is not just about the thing, it is about a meaningful connection between two people.
Sometimes those connections are simply a brief, friendly conversation, and other times they result in years-long relationships that are transformative for both the giver and the one who received.
It’s not just important that we meet needs. How we meet them is where the magic lies.
What makes a Big Mac a Big Mac
If you represent a church or faith-based organization, the special sauce of local foster care engagement is relationship.
God could deliver what we need as people in lots of different ways, and certainly our provision does grow from the ground and fall from the sky. But so much of what we need to be human comes through other humans. He created us to depend on one another. He created us for relationship — with Him and others.
While it would be hard to make the argument that people need a Big Mac today, I think we can all agree that people need a person. Is there anything you can do to adjust your current local foster care strategies to better lean into that reality?
It could be the difference between giving people things and giving people life.
– Jason Weber is the National Director of More Than Enough, CAFO’s US foster care initiative.
Want to learn more about the special sauce of relationships in transforming foster care where you live?
Check out the second edition of Until There’s More Than Enough, by Jason Weber, and start moving from not enough to more than enough in your community.
