Christians around the world have labored with a remarkable unity in the work of welcoming orphaned and vulnerable children for the past two decades. Together, the entire Christian Alliance for Orphans community works to see “the people of God overflowing with the love of God so that every child will experience God’s unfailing love in a thriving family.”
It’s a worthy vision – worthy of my life and yours. Yet, to be a thriving family is no easy task in our day.
Reports on the status of mental health reveal a steep decline in well-being, especially among young people. Divorce, absent fathers, perpetually overscheduled and worn-out families, and broken or distant relationships – these and other signs of family fracturing are everywhere. Parenting in this era feels complex and challenging.
Indeed, individuals and communities are experiencing a fracturing of the wholeness and enduring intimacies that God intends.
And foster and adoptive families are no exception.
In recent years, many foster and adoptive parents have expressed that they are struggling to help their children heal in mind, body, and relationships and to flourish as disciples of Christ. They’re trying their best but feel as though they have very little to offer other than transporting their child to other experts, often many times a week.
This can leave them feeling exhausted and disheartened.
A vision for thriving families is always an uphill aspiration, perhaps all the more so in the times we live in. Families that are part of the healing and grafting work that comes with foster care and adoption can feel this especially acutely.
And yet, it remains God’s tenacious purpose for parents and children to grow and thrive together. Healing within families has always been central to God’s restorative action in the world.
And foster and adoptive families are no exception.
A new CAFO Initiative for families
Throughout history, faithful Christians have sought to uphold and strengthen the family, recognizing that God means for the loving, determined Christian home to be the ideal growing ground for our children … and for adults, too.
CAFO is committed to carrying forward this good work and strengthening parents who are in the thick of it.
In response to the deeply-felt needs of Christian foster and adoptive parents to nurture the healing and health of their children, CAFO has begun a new initiative, the Institute for Family-Centered Healing & Health.
We want to curate and create excellent resources for parents, organizations, and churches that serve foster and adoptive families. These tools will be grounded in the wisdom of scripture and the best of contemporary research.
The Institute will serve as a dynamic hub for experts, practitioners, and parents that can nurture fresh insights and practices across the field.
Foundational truths guiding our work
Here are a few Foundational truths that will guide the Institute.
The nurturing home is an essential environment for healing and health.
The measurable effects of being welcomed into a caring home are so notable that it is understood by many researchers to be an intervention itself. Parents need not be perfect. The simple reality of a decent family opening their lives to a child produces powerful changes over time. When things get tough, we want to remind parents that for a child who has experienced early adversity, no intervention can match that of being enveloped within a loving family.
Life lived unto God is distinctively good for us.
We have confidence that the committed Christian home – supported by a healthy church – is the epicenter for the day-to-day process of healing and growth for children who’ve faced adversity. Again, the standard is not perfection but an earnest commitment to living out together the core commitments of the Christian life. When families practice confession, forgiveness, and gratitude – when they serve and honor one another and bear with each other’s shortcomings and cultivate humility – good things happen. Research now affirms the age-old Christian understanding that there are deep and lasting benefits for both individuals and communities when these sorts of practices are woven into the fabric of daily life. The Institute will work to help parents integrate the basic practices of daily Christian life and habits within their homes.
True health involves the whole person – the body, mind, spirit, and relationships.
Easy-to-overlook things like sleep, diet, physical activity, time outdoors, and cultivating strong relationships with God and others impact our mental health significantly. Even small, intentional shifts in physical habits make a remarkable difference in our emotions and our perceptions of ourselves and others. So, when we want to help someone heal mentally or emotionally, we must take a view of the whole person. The Institute will offer guidance for practical ways to apply this understanding in the habits of the home.
Most positive growth involves small, daily practices patiently sustained over time.
Some challenges may require the involvement of specialists, counselors, and other professionals. At times, crisis interventions are needed. However, even in the most difficult situations, the real work of transformation usually needs to be worked out in small, countlessly-repeated actions guided by loving parents amidst daily life. This, in fact, is how Christian discipleship happens as well – it involves all of life over a lifetime. So, the Institute stresses the vital work of cultivating and maintaining simple practices – for both parents and kids – that contribute to healing and health over time.
Confidence in the unending work of God in our lives
Every generation faces the challenge of helping the next generation – we worry, try our best, and inevitably find our efforts to be less than perfect. Parenting in this generation is fraught with complexities. Deep cultural and relational fractures impact our homes. Often, foster and adoptive parents feel this in an amplified way, including unique challenges and a lot of learning.
As followers of God, parenting means entrusting outcomes to the Good Shepherd, knowing our best efforts do not provide a guarantee. Like the Loving Father in the parable of the Prodigal Son, many godly parents experience deep pain and uncertainty over the choices their children make. Even so, as Christian parents, we seek to be faithful and wise, cultivating God’s heart and ways within our hearts and our children’s … and anticipating God’s gracious work in our lives. (Deuteronomy 6:7)
Despite the fracturing, challenges, and uncertainties of our time, we believe that the Holy Spirit desires to dwell with us in our homes. He makes Himself continually available to each family member, providing a more-than-natural wisdom and power for healing and growth. Despite all our frailties, He invites us to participate with Him in this work.
It is upon this conviction and hope that the CAFO Institute for Family-Centered Healing & Health is established – confident that together, we can help parents to play the most central, indispensable role in their children’s healing and health over time!
– Rachel Medefind, the Director of the CAFO Institute for Family-Centered Healing & Health.