Gratitude is something we know we ought to have — especially this time of year. So at times (rather ungratefully, if we are honest), we try to be grateful. Yet when gratitude is reduced to platitudes, we may overlook the astonishingly critical role it can play in shaping our lives.
It all starts with our thoughts.
The origin — and object — of gratitude
The word “thank” comes from the Old English word think. It is to think good thoughts. As such, gratitude involves directing attention. We notice what is good.
Gratitude is to allow thoughts of goodness to enter our minds and for such thoughts to displace other thoughts.
But this is only the beginning. By attending to what is good, gratitude takes us further. Gratitude reveals the origin of the gift: that the goodness in our lives comes from beyond ourselves. We are not its source.
Gratitude reminds us that, even without asking, we are the recipients of an undeserved steady supply of goodness, whether things others bring into our lives through their love, kindness or mercy; or what we can give to others because others have faithfully first given much to us; or the wonder we experience as we encounter God’s beauty, vastness and mystery in all created things.
And as we sit with this goodness, we often feel a deep sense that what we are encountering is not owed to us. What we are receiving is more than we deserve.
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought.”
-G.K. Chesterton
Goodness does not erase evil, it saturates it
There is a Goodness that we did not manipulate into being, that we do not sustain and that we cannot vex. It is impervious to the action of evil. Toward evil, in fact, an ongoing supply of goodness persists. And this Goodness continually invites us to receive and rest in it.
As Jesus described: “For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45).
Importantly, goodness does not erase or overlook injustice and evil. Instead, it saturates it. Similarly, gratitude does not dismiss hurt and wrongdoing. Rather, the impact of wrongs must be brought forward. Lament for what is distorted, lost or absent is a wholehearted response. It reflects a deep longing for the good that is not present.
Lament is not opposed to gratitude. The heartbeat of both is goodness. One mourns its absence. The other delights in its presence. Over time, sorrow can open our hearts to see the sharp gold of goodness encircling the eclipse of darkness with a thin line.
Like any vital Christian practice, gratitude must not be rushed or forced. But everyone deserves to be invited into a way of life that attends to goodness with the twin sentinels of lament and gratitude.
By paying attention to this so-often-undeserved goodness through gratitude — in small and big forms — a cascading flood of remarkable benefits begins to follow.
Five remarkable benefits of gratitude
Practicing gratitude brings remarkable good to us as human beings:
- Improved emotional health. Regularly practicing gratitude can help reduce negative emotions, including rumination, stress, anxiety and depression. It improves self-reported happiness and well-being. Gratitude appears to decrease risky and addictive behaviors, and it strengthens one’s ability to overcome adversity and trauma.
- Enhanced cognitive capacities. Gratitude amplifies mental capacities such as alertness and attentiveness, alongside motivational capabilities like determination and enthusiasm.
- Better physical health. Gratitude supports more positive health outcomes. This can be measured objectively with lower blood pressure and decreased inflammation. Self-reported health is also more positive with higher levels of gratitude. Sleep quality and duration improve with the practice of gratitude. Recent rigorous research even shows that gratitude is associated with greater longevity.
- Fuller spiritual health. Practicing gratitude not only enables further gratitude but is also associated with a greater willingness to forgive others and a decreased desire for revenge.
- Stronger relationships. Gratitude enables connection with others. It increases one’s willingness to help others, improves patience and is associated with happier marriages.
Habits of gratitude in day-to-day life can cultivate a ready response to the goodness in our lives. Over time, gratitude can shape our very disposition.
How does gratitude support healing?
These incredible — and potentially enduring — benefits of cultivating gratitude demonstrate its healing impact. But how does gratitude have these effects?
Below we explore four potential ways gratitude can support healing.
Gratitude displaces rumination.
Rumination involves brooding thoughts, focused on the causes and effects of events, with a sense of unfairness to oneself. Ruminative thinking is present in most mental health disorders, including depression, anxiety, anger, PTSD, OCD and psychosomatic disorders. Gratitude works in the opposite direction by directing thoughts toward a more profound inequality: a sense of an undeserved, persistent goodness in so much of life. Practicing gratitude involves being on the watch for this goodness. This outlook can be cultivated, bit by bit, as an activity of the mind that leaves less and less room for rumination.
Gratitude grows connection.
Gratitude draws our attention to a source of good that comes from outside of ourselves. It guides our hearts to see the qualities and actions of others that benefit us even when they are not owed to us. Practicing gratitude helps us feel affection for and connection with another person for the goodness they bring to us or the goodness they inspire within us. Most importantly, gratitude draws our hearts toward union with God as we recognize God’s profound kindness and generosity in our lives (Romans 2:4).
Gratitude spurs giving.
Feelings of gratitude stir our hearts to respond with giving to others. When we orient ourselves to face outwardly — in service to others, in kindness, in worship of God and in prayer — we experience layers of profound benefit that contribute further to our flourishing mentally, relationally and spiritually. Our well-being as humans is closely tied to contributing to the good of others. Gratitude motivates us to do just that. As such, we are positioned to receive double-fold benefits.
Gratitude offers resilience to trauma.
Consistent gratitude practices act as a buffer against prior trauma by helping reframe previous experiences in a way that diminishes their adverse mental and physical effects. It also enables a person to face future adversities and losses with resilience strengthened by a recognition of a deep and enduring good that is present even in dark or evil experiences (Psalm 23). Gratitude begins to grow an awareness of a reality deeper than wrongdoing, darkness or scarcity. Gratitude, alongside forgiveness and other Christian practices, can play a crucial role in acknowledging harm and wrongdoing (and refusing to minimize them), while also recognizing that they do not need to define all of life.
The practice of gratitude offers profound benefits for human healing and health, supporting renewed ways of thinking, catalyzing closer and more self-giving relationships and cultivating resilience in the face of trauma.
– Rachel Medefind is the director of the CAFO Institute for Family-Centered Healing & Health. Read more about some practical ways families can incorporate new practices into their homes and routines in the next article in the next article in this series, “Three ways to cultivate gratitude in your family.”
